A Surreal Moment

Not to dwell too much on the air quality around here, but I had a really weird moment with a couple Macedonian guards the other day. We were in their office and they were both complaining about how bad the air is. These guys spend a lot more time outside than I do, and that particular day the air was worse than usual, so their complaints were certainly valid. But I had to laugh a little when, in the midst of their complaints about what the Kabul pollution is doing to their lungs... they both lit up cigarettes.

 

Seeing someone smoke inside was odd enough, let alone in a government office. But to have a lit cigarette in your hands while complaining that Kabul air is bad for you, well, there's a certain lack of self awareness going on or something..

 

You can't make this stuff up.

The Writing Life

One of my goals for being deployed was to get some writing done. While I don't feel entirely satisfied with my pace, when I step back and look at what I've actually pulled off so far, I guess it's not a bad stack so far.

 

The blog is the most obvious example. I like the pace and quantity. I'm not posting every day (that'd be too much), but most weeks I don't go too many days before adding something new. So I'm happy with that and I hope you're enjoying it too.

 

Magazine-wize, my last article for Defense AT&L was literally my last article for Defense AT&L. I've decided, for a number of reasons, to pursue different publishing outlets. So far, I've submitted a short 1,000 word article to National Defense Magazine (it was accepted & will be published in the next issue!) and a much longer, 4,000 word piece to Analog magazine - still waiting to hear back from them, but I'm optimistic. I've got a few other pieces in the works and a few other magazines in my sights - watch this space for updates.

 

I'm also working on two books - or maybe three, depending on how loosely we define the word "working." One is a non-fiction, no-holds-barred look at defense acquisitions. I even use a bad word (!) in one chapter, so yeah, the gloves are off. I'm about 13,000 words in to that one, and figure it'll come in around 50,000 words by the time it's finished. I'm really excited about that one.

 

The second book is the third in the Skyler series, a fantasy / adventure for my kids. I wrote a lot of it before coming here, so I've started the process of typing the manuscript, but the story itself isn't done yet so I hope to get it finished before May. I haven't exactly figured out HOW it'll end, so I really need to get my game on to bring that one home. Of all my projects, that's the one I feel the most behind about. OK, it's the only one that feels behind.

 

Anyway, the third book is more hypothetical. It's a military novel, sort of a dark comedy ala Catch-22, only with more bureaucracy. And hackers. It's set in the Pentagon and Afghanistan (imagine that!), although I don't plan for it to be as autobiographical as it might sound. I've only got a few pages and sketches & scribbles put together, so we'll see if anything comes of that at all before I head home.

 

Ok, enough blog stuff. Time to work on a book (or two).

The 'Stache

Day 2

As a dude, I have always felt a certain obligation to grow facial hair at some point in my life, just because I can. However, in my house a scruffy face is understandably an invitation to not get kisses, so I make a point of shaving regularly. 

Being deployed seemed like a good opportunity to grow a mustache without too many repercussions and without imposing too much scruff on the delicate flowers I share a home with. Plus, I recently re-watched A Fish Called Wanda, and Kevin Kline's mustache just begged to be copied. Therefore, as previously announced right here on this very blog, on January 1st I launched the Great Mustache Experiment... mostly for the photo opportunities it might provide.

Day 8

For the first day or two, not much happened. But after a week, the thing has definitely established a presence on my face. It is still smallish, as mustaches go. Certainly nowhere near the Tom Sellek category, but it is unmistakable... and unavoidable.

 Frankly, I got tired of seeing it sitting there pretty quickly. For that matter, my wonderfully patient wife wasn't too fond of it from Day 2.

Originally I'd envisioned keeping it for a month, but by Day 8 I pretty much decided 14 days would most likely be a sufficiently long tenure.

Day 8, take 2

So I'm gritting it out, watching it come in and counting the days until I can get a good photo and shave the darn thing off.

Watch this space.

Things To Appreciate

I compiled a list of things I'll definitely appreciate more fully once I get back to the States. It started out as a list of things I miss (aside from my family), but that sounded too much like complaining. So here it is, in no particular order, is a collection of things I'm looking forward to:

Civilian Clothing

I reached for a pair of camo pants the other day and just sighed. On the one hand, it's convenient to not have to think about what to wear. On the other hand, wearing the same thing every day gets old after a while. So I plan to smile big every time I reach for a t-shirt and pair or jeans, or lace up my Chuck Taylors.

Raw Carrots

We get a ton of cucumbers and lots of cooked carrots, but no raw carrots. I think it's 'cause you can get frozen carrots but not frozen cukes, and the DFAC only orders fresh if they can't order frozen. I ate raw carrots all the time at home and definitely miss them here. Also, cheese and cake and red wine and sushi... well, you get the picture.

Restaurants

On that note, the DFAC really does a good job of providing variety. Lunch and dinner both generally have at least three entrees to choose from. But it can't match the variety available within a 2 mile radius of my house. That's something I definitely won't take for granted when I'm home again.

Bagels & English Muffins

One last food-related comment: I love pancakes, particularly now that I've got real NY maple syrup (yay!). And I'm eating bacon way too often, so really, breakfast around here is pretty good. But sometimes, it'd be nice to just have an english muffin or a bagel. It's just one of those little things that I didn't fully appreciate until now.

A Feminine je ne sais quoi

Not that there aren't any women around here, but they're a distinct minority. This is a very dude-dominated environment, both among the ISAF crew and the locals. As you might imagine, the camp lacks a certain feminine touch, so things feel a bit out of balance. Which isn't to say the ladies around here aren't feminine, but they do tend to wear combat boots and carry weapons, so there's that. When a recent Skype chat showed my wife and two daughters, my sister and her daughter, and my mom, it was a striking moment to see so many ladies all at once.

Clean Air

You know how sometimes there's a strong smell in the air and after a few minutes your nose adjusts to it so you don't notice it any more? Yeah, I wish that would happen here. This place really doesn't smell nice. I think I'll spend the first month back home just breathing deeply.

Personal Space

I work in a medium-sized room with 7 other guys. After work, I share an 8 x 18 cell with a room mate. Any time I'm in a vehicle, I'm crammed in the back with three or four other guys. Not a lot of opportunities to have a little time & space to myself. I expect it'll be a long time before I take privacy for granted.

My Shower

The showerhead back home is excellent - great water pressure, a large spray and all the hot water I want, with a consistent temperature that's not dependent on the dudes in the stall next to me ('cause at home, there is no stall next to me). Actually, my shower at home is something I already appreciated even before coming here. Plus, the shower walls at home are clean. And if I open the bathroom window the mirror doesn't get all foggy. And when I'm in there, I don't have to listen to some dude in the stall next to me blowing his nose repeatedly and sounding like a hunter with a duck call. Seriously, that's just gross.

Water

Speaking of water, I'm looking forward to brewing a pot of coffee without having to open 3 bottles of water to do so. I'm also looking forward to brushing my teeth with tap water instead of bottled water.

Days Off

My daily schedule generally isn't too hectic, but there's something relentless about putting on my uniform and going to work every single day. It was almost a relief to catch a cold and spend a day in my room watching movies although the physical discomfort sort of took the bloom off that rose. Anyway, weekends are something I always appreciated and I am definitely looking forward to having them again.

I Hab A Cowd

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. I came down with a cold and it knocked me on my patriotic patootie.

It started on Monday, when I went to the gym and was a little surprised that I didn't really want to be there. I pressed on anyway, figuring it was just mental fatigue that would go away once I got moving. After using the rowing machine for a while, then doing some weights, I got on the treadmill and could barely force myself do run 3K. Just two days earlier, I'd done a 10K without much difficulty. Something physical was definitely up, and I figured it must be that I hadn't really recovered from Saturday's race yet. Yeah, that wasn't it.

Everyone here has a little cough most of the time, but on Monday mine was a little more persistent than usual. Just enough to get my attention, but not enough to really stand out. In hindsight these were early symptoms, not that I probably could have done anything about them anyway.

Tuesday morning arrived and I felt bad enough to say something to my roomie ("I don't feel great"). Chalked it up to the bad air and went off to breakfast for some toast and tea. Made it through my briefing to the Commander and did the zombie-shuffle back to my office.

I was scheduled to give a training briefing at 1030. Sitting at my desk at 0900, my magnificent brain went into overdrive trying to predict whether I could make it to 1030, or whether I'd be able to get up again if I went to bed for a while. This was a difficult thing to figure out.

Suddenly, because I'm a genius, I realized I could go to the training session RIGHT NOW and beg permission to do my bit early... so I did and I did.

Back in my room, I was in bed by 0945 and restlessly slept until 1500 (that's 3pm for you civilians). A headache came and went, and around noon I wondered if it would be worth the effort to get a Tylenol or two from my wardrobe, which was inconveniently located almost a full half step beyond the edge of my bed. After a 30 minute debate, I decided to man up and make the trek. Tylenol ingested, back to bed I went.

The thought of some soup for lunch briefly awakened me, but I was pretty wiped out from the Tylenol Trek. Plus, going to the DFAC would have involved putting a uniform on (they frown on wandering through the line in my pj's). Plus, I wasn't hungry. And I didn't know what kind of soup they'd be serving. Imagine getting all the way there and it's some thick, cheesy soup. That would be the opposite of helpful.

So I spent most of the rest of the afternoon in bed, trying to decide whether I was hot or cold. Then apparently the germs gave up, because around 3:00 I was awake and feeling almost human. It felt like I'd been licking Afghanistan, but at least it was in the past tense. I cautiously turned on the light, read Wired magazine for a while, then pulled on a uniform and ambled over to the office in slow motion, mostly to see if I'd got any mail (answer: yes!). An early dinner led to an early return to the room where I got to Skype with my honey and had the clearest video ever ('cause nobody else was online).

Then back to bed early - hopefully to knock this cold out once and for all.

Teh Kittehs!

I think I already mentioned that there are a lot of cats running around the ISAF compound. This is one of the scruffier-looking specimens, although I think the kitty who hangs out under the stairs by my office is a close second.

They're hard working cats, chartered to keep the place free of vermin. I haven't actually seen them catch anything, but I also haven't seen any critters, so they must be working.

UPDATE: Just today, I saw a black kitty running along with something small and furry in its mouth. It was being chased by a tabby who I'm sure was intent on teaching the black kitty about the virtues of sharing.

As you might imagine, we're not supposed to pet them. The ISAF vet clinic does give them checkups and vaccines and stuff, and a few even wear collars, but all the same, there's no guarantee they don't have some nasty local bug that would love to get passed along to a person.

Of course, the cats don't know they're not pets and they're not averse to asking for a little affection. Still, I always wince a little when I see someone sitting on the sidewalk petting a local feline.

We've also got a couple dogs here, trained to sniff for explosives (they search cars, etc). They are some of the most energetic, happy dogs I've ever seen. Not sure if they'll sit still for a photo, but I'll see what I can do.

Happy New Year!

The list of things I'm looking forward to in 2012 is pretty enormous, and of course at the top of the list is: Coming Home! Just five more months, more or less.

In the meantime, I'm going to try something I've never done before. The photo below gives a hint:

Yup, I'm totally gonna grow a mustache. Probably not a big curly one like in the picture, 'cause that'd be out of regs, but since I'm on the other side of the planet and can't possibly give scratchy kisses to my honey or the kids, I figure I'll take advantage of my one shot at being a mustachio'd dude.

It may not last the month, and I can guarantee I'll leave it here in Kabul, but I think it'll be a fun little experiment. And of course, my faithful blog readers can expect to see photos. Watch this space...